Thursday, January 3, 2008

Viva la Resolution!

Alright, so here's the rest of my desired changes for 2008. Ya know - after my first post on the New Year, I heard on the radio one should not have more than one resolution or you will tend to fail. Will I the person to buck that trend? Who knows. Hey - if get even half out of my resolutions, that's 50% closer to a better me than I was Dec 31st, 2007.

So where was I? Oh yeah - emotional and spiritual.

3) Gain emotions. Now, that is not to say I have no emotions. My issue(s) come for an inability to really understand them. Whether I am getting angry for no real goo reason to be anger, defensive for no good reason to be defensive, quiet for no good reason to be..... you get the idea. I have a lot in me and a lot to express. Under my hard, candy coated exterior, I am a sea of thoughts, feelings and emotions. I just seem to either stuff them (which tend to cause a pretty nasty explosion when the bag is crammed too full), or I act like it doesn't bother me, which causes me to have to deal with a disappoint, usually in a crappy fashion. So - what in the world am I hoping to do? Well - I think the key is to talk. I need to realize that I am what I am, and if I react a certain way, that's life. The key is to react in a healthy way than in a way that is destructive. Plus - I'm a fun guy. I also have some kewl feelings inside me. They come out often, and that's ok. I just need my fun stuff to be mature a little more often. I think of all my resolutions, this one will be the toughest. Old dog/new trick thing.

4) Hugely spiritual. Too much of my life has been just that - my life. I do what's best for number 1 - me. The thing is, there is so much more that me. Hey - there's 3 more in my house alone. And it grows exponentially from there (I'd do the math, but I left my calculator in my other pants). When I live for me, too many people not only get ignored, but worse, especially with you add 3 & 4 together (feelings and spiritual). No - it's (told you I forget my calculator) - it's a bad combination when you think of only yourself and stuff your bad emotions. I have lived a fair amount of my life doing and thinking of others, but I think there was always an under lying layer of "me" in there. Time to lose that layer and think of the bigger picture. And that bigger picture is being honest and complete as a Christ-follower. To be the Jeff I need and wish to be, I have to stop being the Jeff I am. Getting there will require more prayer, journaling and exploration of what it is to build a relationship with God.

Ok - that's the deal. The four in a nutshell are: less fat, more cash, cry more and praise louder. Oh man - I could have done this whole resolution post in 9 words. Dangit!

Now playing: "Spy In The House Of Love" by dB's
via FoxyTunes