Tuesday, December 29, 2009

YouTube-sday™: w/ bonus climate change rant

I have a text file on my computer with thoughts and links in there, titled "blog ideas". As it is named is it's purpose - crap I have found or have thought of that I may want to think more about and maybe type about. It's needs a bit of a cleaning, so I was going through it and came about these two links. Scarily, they have to deal with the fact that it's ok to tell your kids global warming isn't happening, and even asks the kids to put together some cutesy videos to back up these "claims". Now, I can't prove all the facts came from Fox News, but it sure seems that way. I would use the word "inaccurate", but that word is not strong enough to describe all this. I love the book in the first link, written by a Professor Holly Fretwell, an "expert in the filed of global warming". And her expertise? She's has a degree in economics. She has no schooling dealing with the study of temperature trends - just how money is spent. She even says it herself: "I have spent most of my adult life evaluating environmental policies..." That's not the science of studying global warming. That's the science of watching money.

What a good expert.

Look - the climate is changing at an alarming rate. Years will get warmer and warmer. Glacier National Park will need a new name in about 25 years. We cannot continue to burn fossil fuels at the rate we are now and think we are not causing harm. And no, Glenn Beck, exhaling is NOT pollution, ya fricking jackass. The fact can be found about the middle of this page. I quote...er...cut and paste:

Q. Should we be concerned with human breathing as a source of CO2?

A. No. While people do exhale carbon dioxide (the rate is approximately 1 kg per day, and it depends strongly on the person's activity level), this carbon dioxide includes carbon that was originally taken out of the carbon dioxide in the air by plants through photosynthesis - whether you eat the plants directly or animals that eat the plants. Thus, there is a closed loop, with no net addition to the atmosphere. Of course, the agriculture, food processing, and marketing industries use energy (in many cases based on the combustion of fossil fuels), but their emissions of carbon dioxide are captured in our estimates as emissions from solid, liquid, or gaseous fuels.

I am sure it's all crazy hard to understand. You hear so much from one side, then 180 info from the other side. Let me try and boil it down into something simple and personal:

"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" is on tour in Milwaukee (hey, it's possible). You are in the hot seat and just cranking thru question after question. You had to use your phone a friend lifeline early because you just couldn't remember who sang "Fly, Robin, Fly", but here you are - one question away from 1,000,000 bucks and 2 lifelines remaining. Final question has to do with cheese. Oh no....you are lactose intolerant, so this will not be easy. You have a hunch, though. But instead of a guess, you use your 50/50 lifeline. TRAGEDY! The one you had a hunch on disappeared. You are about to bail with 500 grand when you remember you are in Milwaukee - cheese capital of the US. The audience is filled with cheese-heads. How about using your last lifeline and see what the crowd says before you drop out? They are cheese experts. So you ask the audience and 90% choose answer A, while 10% choose answer D. That's some heck of a range. All those experts choosing A over D. What is your final answer?

So let me ask all your global warming deniers: why would you choose answer D when it comes to global warming when more than 90% of the scientists that study the environment on a daily basis say that the climate is changing? You are willing to bet a million dollars on a 9:1 majority, but you will risk the lives of your friends, loved ones, children, children's children and the very existence of the human race on a 10% minority. Sad.

And with that......

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

YouTube-sday™:Day late two for one

Been far too long since I have done a YouTube-sday™, and these two videos are just too good not to share. First, Autotune is the devil, but at least the devil is put to good use in this one:

And now we have Lego Keanu Reeves, who is a far better actor than regular Keanu Reeves:

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


Friday, November 6, 2009

Yet another epic fail

Umm.....Johnny? Yeah - that's from the Declaration of Independence. Ever hear of "Schoolhouse Rock"?

Do you just carry that book or have you actually read it?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Coming back very soon...

I have been away for a while for certain reasons and I planned to be back soon. I'll have more in the near future, but I disgustingly needed to pass this on.

Sorry - the imbed is not working.

Slowly, but surely - something is seriously wrong with this country. Just when you think we move forward from the actions of 9+ months ago, you find out, in fact, we have moved 20 steps back. I weep for this country, and not in the phony fashion Glenn Beck weeps.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Bang, Bang.....you're saved.

According to this NYT article, a church in Kentucky is having a "bring your gun to church" day, as a celebration of being American and having a 200+ year old antiquated right to carry a weapon. No really, that is what they are saying (well, minus the antiquated rights part - I added that myself). Viewing their webpage, you find this statement from the church/pastor/whomever:

"America was founded upon a deep-seated belief in God and the freedom to own and bear firearms without which this country would not be here today. We are not ashamed of this historical fact nor are we ashamed to proclaim it."

Now, I'm a Christ-follower. I attend a pretty awesome church. My kids just got back from mission trips to New Orleans and Galveston and made a small difference, but certainly more than I and many others have done. I appreciate what God has done for me, and accept that I still make mistakes, but He hasn't wiped me off this earth yet, so I still must be worth while.

What gets me is the statement "...to own and bear firearms without which this country would not be here today". I don't think they really understand the purpose of firearms back at that time, and the reason it is in the Constitution. See, when English settlers came to the land we know call the United States of America, there were some people already living on many parts of the land. Let's call them "native Americans", but they went by many different names: Sioux, Cherokee, Potowatomi, Navajo, Apache, Ojibwa....you get the idea. Well, the settlers really liked this land, and wanted more of it. You could ask, but I guess asking wasn't enough, or the tribes didn't give it away fast enough, or maybe the settlers liked certain property that was sacred. Whatever reason, they used their guns against the Indian tribes to take the land by force. If you have many, many years of quiet existence on the green earth, only to have these fair skinned folks come and murder innocent people to take away what you have respectfully resided on, I'm guessing you get angry. So the tribes fought back. The right to bear arms is in the Constitution to "protect" the people from the original land owners who were pretty (and rightfully) pissed off over their treatment and theft of their land. This country was founded on the inhuman treated of others at the end of a loaded barrel (it was also founded on the backs of African slaves, but that's for another post).

So to celebrate the heritage of this country when it's creation was based on the brutal murder of thousands of native Indian residents is not a very "Jesus" thing, if you ask me. I'm thinking Jesus was pretty upset and saddened at how the US came to be.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


Happy birthday Donald Duck. Now that you are 75, you can be just as cranky and excitable, and people will think it's cuz you're a crazy ol' coot.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Still dumb after all those years

I wish I could find an actual picture of the person in the post: Janine Suguwara. Would love to see just what she looks like, or maybe see how she lives, her likes and dislikes, the car she drives... something. Maybe a peek into her life would help me understand this, cuz frankly, just reading it makes me fear for the future of the world. Not the United States.... THE WORLD!

If you don't want to click the link, let me sum up in one quick sentence: Janine was suing Pepsico because she felt the company was deliberately deceiving consumers because the crunchberries in Cap't Crunch were not real berries.

Go ahead - read that again really slow.

You see the front of the box and think "ok, it's a REALLY huge stretch, but I guess someone with an IQ below a lemming could believe that. But after tasting it, for sure you would know they are not real fruit, right??? It took Janine 4 years to figure it out. F-O-U-R. She could have had her first bowl of Crunchberries while watching George H. W. Bush give his acceptance speech, continued to enjoy the cruchiness throughout 1000 points of light, nominations of Thomas and Stouter to the Supreme Court, the passing of NAFTA and even used it as comfort food during the first Gulf War with no questions about the harvesting of the "berries" from the "crunch" trees (I think it's a market 2nd only to oranges in Florida). Then, when William Jefferson Clinton spoke about being bold to renew America, Janine must have felt a twinge of wonder and determined it was not a wholesome fruity goodness passing her lips, but some cereal concoction traveling down her throat. So, of course, she sued.

Best part about the case being dismissed? Ms. Sugawara actually admitted that "close inspection of the box reveals that Crunchberries are not really berries". Janine, do you NOT set the box in front of you and read it when you eat cereal? You have to do the maze on the back, or find all the hidden crunchberries in the pirate ship drawing.

If someone can find this woman, I would love to meet her.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Tank Man: 20 years later

Tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of the student uprising in China - an event that featured probably one of the top 10 most iconic photos ever taken in the history of the still picture. There exists 4 different pics of that event, but recently, a 5th has shown up. And I think it may trump the others in the story behind the story.

The picture shows "Tank Man" (no one has really confirmed his name or even his fate) a few moments before he marched up to the tank column and stood his ground. It was snapped by Terril Jones, and he didn't even know the pic he had until weeks later. And just now, it is being published:

The sheer chaos of just what was happening is in the pic. A couple people running, one ducking for cover from the possible sound and/or fire of weapons. Another on a bike racing away from the oncoming tanks. And there, to the left, is Tank Man, marching defiantly towards the metal beasts, determined to make a difference.

You can read more about Terril's pic here. And bless you Tank Man, wherever you are.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Wisdom (or something like that)

This past weekend, my wife decided to cash in her Christmas gift from me - a gift certificate to Blick's. She's all artsy-fartsy and all that. Just like he friend Debi. Anyhow, as she perused the store, I roamed around and a rack of cards/magnets caught my eye. On them were pithy or deep quotes, some attributed to famous people and others from Anonymous. Man - that dude has said a LOT of wacky stuff thru the year. And he lives for like e-v-e-r! I found a few really interesting; maybe you will as well:

"Some dream of fortunes. Others dream of cookies."

"to the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world"

"How old would you be is you didn't know how old you are?"

"everything will be okay in the end. if it's not okay, it's not the end."

And my personal favorite, attributed to Sir Winston Churchill:

"If you're going thought Hell, keep going."

Thursday, May 28, 2009


DANGIT!!! Oh well, it was a pretty fun season, and definitely the setup for more good years to come. Since end of year roundups seem to be the norm this year, let's take a look at my 2008-09 predictions and see how my powers of seeing into the future worked:

Atlantic - Penguins (actually, the Devils won this)
Northeast - Canadians (Bruins)
Southest - Capitals (Caps! +1)

Central - Blackhawks (Deadwings)
Northwest - Wild (Canucks)
Pacific - Sharks (Sharks! +1)

And the other post-season teams:
East - Flyers (Y), Sabers (N), Leafs (N), Senators (N) & Bruins (Y)
West - DeadWings (Y), Stars (N), Flames (Y), Blues (N) & Ducks (Y)

So all in all, I got 10 out of 16 teams into the playoffs, and picked 2 division winners. Better than my baseball prognostication.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

RIP James Tiberius Kirk

Friday, May 22, 2009

The weaker phylum.

I've come to the conclusion that we are lucky to be the creatures were are. Human, that is. We have definite control over the other living beings on earth, whether sky, ground or sea. Maybe too much considering the 700 plus specices of ex-beasts not roaming the planet. Yet, we are still here, even though we are easily outnumbered on the planet by the members of the class Insecta. I mean - 9 out of ever 10 living things (not animals - THINGS!) on the planet are bugs. They could dominate if they so choose. But they don't. I'm pretty sure there are two simple reasons.

1) Bugs don't understand glass. Ever see one in your house, your car, the store, the restaurant? They walked along the glass, looking for the whole that just isn't there. Then the get airborne for a second or two, try another spot on the window, only to be denied yet again. In the car, I try and shoo them towards the open window, cuz I'm not looking for bug guts on my window, but they move away and continue to try some Alice Through the Looking Glass approach to get on the other side of the pane, and gain freedom. Until they learn just what transparancy they are viewing, they are destined to die on the wrong side of the glass.

2) Toilets. Insects can't swim. Yeah, I know there are a few that have mastered the skill. They don't count. 99.9% of the bugs can't ride the rapids in the toilet bowl and drown. And you would think with 6 to 8 legs average they would be treading water like a pro. Nope - the wave crashes over they heads and away they go. If they day comes that bugs evolve flipper feet, we are all in serious trouble.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

YouTube-sday™:Bring on the Dead Wings!!!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Sarah Palin on water skis

It's official - Sarah has jumped the shark. From People:

Turns out the hockey mom is also a motorcycle maven.

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin recently welcomed the crew from Orange County Choppers – whose custom motorcycle business is featured on TLC's American Chopper – to Anchorage where show star Paul Teutul Sr. researched building a bike to honor Alaska's 50-year anniversary of being a state.

"It means so much to the state of Alaska that these guys are building this bike that will honor statehood here," Palin says in the episode, airing April 30 at 9 p.m.

Paul Sr. hangs out with the Governor in her office and talks about the Alaskan weather, snowmobiling and fishing in the summer. "I inherit whatever [husband] Todd rejects from the year before," Palin says.

After inviting the OCC crew back for the summer months, she suggests having fun Alaska style, saying, "We'll ride the bike to the fishing hole."

Although initially nervous about the meeting, Paul Sr. says that he felt Palin was "a real down to earth person to talk to."

From Alaska, the OCC crew heads to Finland in an effort to market their bikes overseas.


And American Chopper jumps the shark as well....

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

YouTube-sday™:It's been tooooo long

Man - how long has it been since I put one up. I did vacation, I got busy, work got REALLY busy. Ok - enough excuses. Check this out - was out with the family (sans son) looking for a graduation dress (that's right - for my daughter. You are so smart!). Well, in the Carson's junior section, the flat panels were playing videos to set the hipster mood of the department, and this came on. One must respect Battlezone:

Thursday, April 16, 2009

London called - they don't want to be associated with you.

So the teabaggers did their goofiness yesterday, and boy, are they some inventive "citizens". And I use that term loosely. They are more just sore losers. They seem to think they can change the world. I guess being in charge and destroying this country for the past 8 years wasn't enough. And taking the blame certainly isn't their....er.....cup of tea. I really didn't intend that pun. Honest.

Anyway, let's see how well they looked:

No, actually the previous president and his domestic policies did that.

I guess you are being taxed out of spell check software too, huh?

That's not right. Nor is that. That's REALLY not right. Teabaggers seem to be racist.

Yeah... they're racist alright.

Funny, but the dude you voted for in 2000 and 2004 doesn't.

You are mad at the plan for recovery, but you made no plan for your sign.

Here's a really surprising sign to see at this thing.

You are two. You don't pay taxes. And your parents are represented. Maybe you need smarter parents that know just how a democracy works.

So, you don't like the government paid school you attend, or that government paid road that got you to the protest, or the government paid sidewalk you are sitting on.

Hmmmm.... as opposed to holding hands and making out with the dude.

So I assume you are wearing a "I waterboarding" shirt. It's just hidden by the sign.

Keep dreaming, pal.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Glenn Beck: wacko

You did see him cry, right?

Then he wants to set a man on fire:

Glenn - check your med schedule and any possible interactions between them.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Joe LOVES being conservative.

That pathetic media whore (keyword: whore) Joe the not really a plumber seems to enjoy his 15 minutes of fame (which is now running past 20). He goes places, talks to other conservatives and tries to keep the party line going - which is probably a bad idea considering the beating they took 5 months ago. But he likes it, and all the neocons that invite him like having Joe the train wreck plumber around. But maybe, all this talking, is getting to Joe the lonely plumber. Sounds like Joe the unlicensed plumber needs a woman.

Pay-per-view in the hotels rooms not fulfilling your need?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Carolina blue.

Maybe is a Chicago/Michael Jordan thing, cuz the Pres is picking North Carolina to go all the way in this year's March Madness. Check out his picks here.

Not a lot of surprises on his list. Has 3 of the #1's making it to the Final Four (and a #2). Biggest upsets are Temple over Ariz State and VCU knocking off UCLA. And the only other is #10 Maryland over California. Seems like he has something against teams from the Golden State.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

YouTube-sday™: Bit of the green

Today, everyone is Irish. Cuz face it -the Irish rule. A two-fer from the Galway party band The Saw Doctors.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

YouTube-sday™: U2-sday

Two of my favorites from the boys:

Thursday, March 5, 2009

But of COURSE that's the reason. And none other.

According to some research from a bunch of psychologists, the reason John McCain and Sarah Palin lost the Nov. election was her total hotness. That's what they claim. Their conclusion is that when a study group was given a task to think about her looks, and then they were asked to rate her based on a bunch of criteria, including smarts - those that gave her positive remarks on her looks rated her low in competence and intelligence. A researcher stated, "It was the effect her appearance had on their perception of her competence and humanity."

Really? Really?

So, her national security credential are being able to see Russia from Alaska, she updates her world views by reading all the newspapers, and she liked to state she turned down the money for a bridge in Alaska (but not really) - those had no baring on it at all, right? I guess what we really don't know is she is a combination of Steven Hawkings and Megan Fox.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Lincoln, Lincoln...

...I've been thinking

Why the heck
am I not

And I wonder why my job causes me to think this way.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Don't let the door hit you in the.....

American Express wants to help you in this time of economic trouble. If you are currently an AmEx customer, they are going to give you a chance to get a cash bonus of $300 to assist you in these troubled. Just watch your mailbox for a special letter containing your super secret code to qualify for this special plan. Then, visit this website, enter your code and you qualify for a prepaid AmEx card loaded with $300 real American dollars to spend as you choose. Not a loan, not a credit extension - 300 bucks cash.

Yeah...one small hitch. If you take advantage of this offer, you cancel your card with American Express. Yup. No lie. AmEx is paying current card holding $300 to STOP being a card holder and leave their company. Basically, they don't want your business anymore. They call it "simplifying your finances". I call it "you are a risk - get the hell away from us". And the other catch is that to get the greenbacks, you need to pay off your entire balance over the next 60 days. If you are still carrying a balance on April 1st (how appropriate it that day for this offer), you get no money. And you have no American Express card either.

This is kind of like the Discover Card deal about helping us be smarter spenders. But not really. All these years the companies have told us it's okay to be excessive. And now it comes back to bite them in the butt.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

YouTube-sday™: Ahhhh, rats!

Here's a little bit of info you may have missed from that "liberal" media: The EPA just finished (finally) the setup of a huge test project to determine if products that release endocrine disrupting chemicals are harmful to humans. Almost 12 years in the creation, but testing is finally about to start. Endocrine disruptors are nasty little dudes, really messing with the human body. And they exist in some pretty common places. DDT was one, until they stopped using it. Other disruptors show up in antifreeze, plastic bottles, fire retardant clothing, vinyl flooring....the list goes one. But finally, 12 years after coming up with the idea to do a long term study on the effects of these chemicals, the EPA has released their plans. And the lucky test subject is this little guy:
He (or she) is a Sprague-Dawley rat, a pretty popular lab rat for the medical industry. Bred for their calm temperament and other advantages in handling. There is just one problem - one the the attributes of the SD rat is that is tends to be endocrine resistant. In fact, it was actually bred BECAUSE it has a higher tolerance for arsenic trioxide, a chemical in fertilizer. Many professionals have brought this concern to the EPA, only to be written off and ignored.

Just how dang stupid are the people in charge?!?! Let's test the effects of chemicals on an animal that happens to have an immunity to said chemical! What's next - testing the effects of drowning on a fish (or do you call them "sea kittens")??? Amazing, just amazing.

So in "celebration" of this fine bit of government action, as well as the seemingly unlimited phone calls into work the past 8 weeks, I give you The Primitives:

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

YouTube-sday™: Wednesday late edition two-fer

Since I totally blew last week, and yesterday for that matter, let's put up two great versions of the same song. First we have Gladys Knight and the Pips, followed by Marvin Gaye, doing their respective versions of "I Heard It Through the Grapevine". Gladys sounds like a woman scorned while Marvin sings his version with much pain in his heart.

Interestingly, these are versions 3 and 4 of this song. The original version that was released is by the great Smokey Robinson and The Miracles. And YouTube epic fails when trying to find it. :( So I'll give you this Miracles classic instead. Version 2 was done by the Isley Brothers, though never released. What a shame.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Move it back

Could someone please explain the whole "backing into a parking spot" deal? Am I missing something? There must be some kind of benefit for the .02% of people that back in that the rest of us fail to receive. Right?

Are you embarrassed by the back or your car? Is it that ugly? Granted, mine is pretty ugly from behind, but that's because someone hit the rear and the bumper shattered (yes, shattered. Cold + plastic = shatter). I'm okay with it, though.

Is there some advantage to pulling out of your parking spot and driving forward immediately as opposed to backing out and shifting into drive? I've never timed it, but I'm pretty sure I can back out of my spot and be traveling in a forward direction, towards my destination in about 5 seconds. When you factor in the time I take to get into my spot at 1 or 2 seconds, and you take 20 to back in, I'm pretty confident I am ahead of your game by about 10 ticks.

And what's with that look you give us? You were the one driving by the open spot. How about equiping your vehicle with some kind of signaling device so we know you are going to be an annoying jerk and plan to back into that spot you half drove past? It would really help me to try and fathom your thought process.

And lastly - don't ever....EVER back into a spot when the lanes are diagonal and there is only one way the lane goes. Cuz we all know the only way to pull out is to drive against the flow. And that dirty look you give cuz I am following the rules and you are not just proves you're an ass.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

YouTube-sday™: PEW!!! PEW!!!

You know that what is really sounds like when his web shoots out.

PEW!!!! PEW!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

YouTube-sday™:Wake up!

This must have taken hours/days/weeks.... and it's well worth the watch:

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Welcome 44

We've been waiting far too long...

Friday, January 16, 2009

This is some kind of joke, right?

Rove actually Twits. He said so himself on his website. So this is a for real thing. Just what kind of emails does he really think he will receive?

So here's what I sent:

subject: Thanks for nothing

Thanks for the lies. Thanks for the partisan politics. Thanks for the debt. Thanks for politicizing every damn thing you ever touched. Thanks for being the worst president we have ever have.

Now go to hell and I never want to hear from you again.

Too strong?

Don't let the door hit you in the.....

So President Embarrassment gave his farewell speech last night. I was unable to watch (and probably would have thrown stuff at my tv if I did anyway). I plan on trying to stomach the thing, just to get a good, if not furious, laugh over his claims of how he was not the worst commander in chief ever. Hearing a little talk about his appearance and some of the crap he said on the radio this morning, one thing jumped at me:

"America has gone more than seven years without another terrorist attack on our soil."

Yeah, okay a-hole. Make such a claim as that like you are some great and wonderful all-savior to this country that you have so incorrigibly destroyed for the benefit of your neocon cronies. Hey President Dipsh*t - math lesson time: 9/11 killed about 3000 people; 3000 people you could have kept alive. Your trumped up war in Iraq, which allow me to remind you has ZERO connection to 9/11, as well as zero WMDs and the like, has claimed the lives of 4224 soldiers. That's over 40% MORE people than died on your watch in the Twin Towers. So semantically speaking - yes, there has not been another attack on US soil.

But in actuality, there has. It happened in the Persian Gulf area. And yet again, it's your fault.

A quick search of your speech shows you mentioned Bin Laden exactly 0 times. Zero. 9/11 is universally blamed on him and his warped religious views. Your whole reason for invading Iraq is based on him. But he's really not a concern of yours, is he?

I hate you George W. Bush. Go the #%$& away.

Monday, January 12, 2009

A little bit about this and th@

Being the tech dork/nerd/loser/dude I am, I have a few email addresses. As in a bunch. Too many, probably. If we count them up, I have a work address, a junk mail address, a personal Gmail, a family Gmail, a professional Gmail, a Yahoo address for fantasy sports and my home address (which I never use). So you can imagine the amount of junk mail I receive. The filters are pretty good, but here's what I hope to start seeing less and less of:

Replica watches - Yeah, I am sure it's just like the real watch that costs 1000% more than what you are trying to pawn off on me. Quality movement and fancy design....but of course. And why would I think the real quality of this falls somewhere between a dollar store circular saw and a submarine constructed from rice paper and bubble gum?

Hot stock tips - Don't we all know an up and coming company is best advertised through a poorly spelled "press release"? Who am I to think that this company, currently trading at 2 cents, won't be trading at $1.75 in the near future? For certain this is the company that will buck the present economic trend of suckitude.

Prescriptions - Please, I need my Viagra/Levitra/Propecia/Cialis from some company with about 15 numbers in it's URL. It's all about quality with them.

"That certain area" - I'm happy with what I have, thank you. While I understand they are all natural and healthy, I just don't think you can really change the size of my manhood. I am just forced to live with what I have, knowing that I never ever have an averaged sized penis and will have to live the rest of my life with my nickname "The Loch Ness monster". Sigh....

Hot dirty videos - If I ever need to open 37 windows, one after another, with a single mouse click, I'll be sure to add your link to my bookmarks. And I really do believe you when you say it's just a free trial and I have 3 days to cancel before my credit card is charged, discretely of course.

OEM Software - (see "Prescriptions")

Weight Loss - Didn't I just get the same worded email from you the other day, only this time you replaced the word "Viagra" with the word "Meridia"?

Friday, January 9, 2009

If only for the humor of it all.

So, let's do this whole 2009 resolution thing. But first, let us go back to the start of 2008 and reassess what I pledged to change in 2008 and check my progress. And for sake of the fact that I don't feel like getting TOO detailed, let us do it quickly, shall we:

1) less bills/more savings - fail
2) lose weight - epic fail
3) more emotions - neutral
4) more spirituality - .002% positive of center

So all in all, pretty crappy. And I would come up with a great excuse, but all I can think of right now is that the dog ate my homework and the check is in the mail. I don't think you are buying that. So put me in the group with others that were unsuccessful in changing their life in 2008. It happened. Let's blame George W Bush.

So, how does 2009 look for me? Well, let our get all resolutely and see what I have in mind.

1) Lose weight - I'm still gonna push that one. But I do have a plan this year, far far better than last year's...er....."lack of plan" that I had. I have a friend John that just completed P90X and was very successful (hit that link and check out his results). I have looked at P90X for a while and am glad to personally know someone that used it with great success. Now, John has about 15 years of youth on me and is an Air Force veteran. The only bird I've ever flown was my middle finger. Again, I blame Bush for that too. But John got me a good deal on Power 90, a less extreme workout from the same people and that is my plan. Just need the motivation...

2) Bills - I think I really should call this budget. Hang on.....

2) Bills Budget -That's better. It's time I get a working budget and stick firm to it. It's important to the life of my family during this economic times of crapola. And to be better prepared when unplanned expenses arrive (can you say "daily"). I have many friends very successful with budgets, and I have done about 70% effort to get one for us. It's obvious that is far below the needed 100% (carry the 6.....divide by.... - yes, far below). I think motivation for this will be easier. It just depends if staying on it will be easy.

3) The house (aka "honey do") - More than "honey do's", these are just "put offs" that should no longer be in that state. I have been successful in the past putting a list on the fridge and slowly working thru it. I think if I treat the home improvements as a budget, I should have success.

4) Snarky - Yeah, I said "snarky". My goal in 2009 is to be far more snarky, humorous and sarcastic on this blog. If you see the blog roll on the side, I visit a few. There are more I visit, and franky, some of them are just far too funny. It pisses me off. I should have thought of this or that idea, but I didn't. So it's time for me to stop holding back here and just let rip whatever I feel. All in the form, or course, of making you laugh. Or not.

I think I will stop there. I may have gone too much last year and should scale back to be sure I have a better than say 27% success. Ya hear me George Bush??

Now playing: "Heart Of Glass" by The Puppini Sisters

Thursday, January 8, 2009

YouTube-sday™: Special Report

And it's official:

Upside-down....boy, ya turn me.....

So according to this article, Disney is closing Space Mountain temporarily to do a little remodeling. They state the changes are more cosmetic with very few track modifications. All I know is they better not change how it looks when sitting in a car.

Living where I live, I go to Great America at least once a year and have been on every coaster that ever existed in that place (I highly recommend the American Eagle backwards, if you get the chance) over the past 20+ years. Not to mention King's Island, Six Flags over Mid America, Busch Gardens and other amusement meccas. No front seat of any coaster I have been on compares to the thrill of any seat on a train speeding thru Space Mountain. The joy of Space Mountain is the fluorescent dots on the track and walls. Because of those, you can't see jack squat where the track goes, and that, my friends, is called crazy awesome! You have all the different turns, hills, side shakes and all - but if you can't SEE when they are going to occur, it's that much more scary/exciting.

So I will withhold my gratitude to you all, the heirs of Disney, until I once again ride the Mountain of Space and experience the changes for myself. Screw it up, though, and I'll never watch Hannah Montana again.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

YouTube-sday™: Annie, get your gun (with bonus rant)

Up front, let me say welcome 2009. I'll have the obligatory "how-did-I-do-in-2008 / these-are-my-2009-resolutions" post in a few days (I hope). Until then, let me grab my soapbox.

Ok - so I swing over to Jewel for a little lunchage (chicken strips and tater babies), and as I leave, there is a sign posted on the EXIT door:

"Due to high winds, please return carts to the corral."

Ya know - I got a better idea. How about no matter what the wind is, you return the cart to the corral? Ok, Magellan? Geez - are we getting lackadaisical or what? How often do you see carts all over the parking lot - blocking parking spaces, sitting up on the curb by the trees or filling up the zebra lane by the handicapped spots? Is it that hard to walk it over to the collection spot for the cart worker? You just spent an hour in the store walking all the aisles and you can't return your cart to the designated coordinates?

I have a question for you: how can you afford to purchase the items you just bought at the store? Cuz it's obvious you are too fricking lazy to walk the extra few feet to drop off the cart. I really wonder just what you purchased that you fail to have the energy to do the right thing. What's your diet - Ho Ho's and Swanson Hungry Man dinners? My favorite are the carts just one parking space away from the corral. Couldn't put in the extra 7 feet of effort, eh Pavarotti?

I have made it a habit in the past year or so to find those carts that take up a parking space, or ar just not where they should be, and bring them into the store. On occasion, I will use it to shop, but usually I just walk it into the doors and drop it with the other carts. A little bonus to the kid stuck with the crappy job of hunting down all the carts. You're welcome, Skippy.

And now onto YouTube - Demitri Martin....he gets it:

Now playing: "Message Of Love" by The Pretenders
via FoxyTunes