Friday, June 5, 2009

Still dumb after all those years

I wish I could find an actual picture of the person in the post: Janine Suguwara. Would love to see just what she looks like, or maybe see how she lives, her likes and dislikes, the car she drives... something. Maybe a peek into her life would help me understand this, cuz frankly, just reading it makes me fear for the future of the world. Not the United States.... THE WORLD!

If you don't want to click the link, let me sum up in one quick sentence: Janine was suing Pepsico because she felt the company was deliberately deceiving consumers because the crunchberries in Cap't Crunch were not real berries.

Go ahead - read that again really slow.

You see the front of the box and think "ok, it's a REALLY huge stretch, but I guess someone with an IQ below a lemming could believe that. But after tasting it, for sure you would know they are not real fruit, right??? It took Janine 4 years to figure it out. F-O-U-R. She could have had her first bowl of Crunchberries while watching George H. W. Bush give his acceptance speech, continued to enjoy the cruchiness throughout 1000 points of light, nominations of Thomas and Stouter to the Supreme Court, the passing of NAFTA and even used it as comfort food during the first Gulf War with no questions about the harvesting of the "berries" from the "crunch" trees (I think it's a market 2nd only to oranges in Florida). Then, when William Jefferson Clinton spoke about being bold to renew America, Janine must have felt a twinge of wonder and determined it was not a wholesome fruity goodness passing her lips, but some cereal concoction traveling down her throat. So, of course, she sued.

Best part about the case being dismissed? Ms. Sugawara actually admitted that "close inspection of the box reveals that Crunchberries are not really berries". Janine, do you NOT set the box in front of you and read it when you eat cereal? You have to do the maze on the back, or find all the hidden crunchberries in the pirate ship drawing.

If someone can find this woman, I would love to meet her.