Monday, January 12, 2009

A little bit about this and th@

Being the tech dork/nerd/loser/dude I am, I have a few email addresses. As in a bunch. Too many, probably. If we count them up, I have a work address, a junk mail address, a personal Gmail, a family Gmail, a professional Gmail, a Yahoo address for fantasy sports and my home address (which I never use). So you can imagine the amount of junk mail I receive. The filters are pretty good, but here's what I hope to start seeing less and less of:

Replica watches - Yeah, I am sure it's just like the real watch that costs 1000% more than what you are trying to pawn off on me. Quality movement and fancy design....but of course. And why would I think the real quality of this falls somewhere between a dollar store circular saw and a submarine constructed from rice paper and bubble gum?

Hot stock tips - Don't we all know an up and coming company is best advertised through a poorly spelled "press release"? Who am I to think that this company, currently trading at 2 cents, won't be trading at $1.75 in the near future? For certain this is the company that will buck the present economic trend of suckitude.

Prescriptions - Please, I need my Viagra/Levitra/Propecia/Cialis from some company with about 15 numbers in it's URL. It's all about quality with them.

"That certain area" - I'm happy with what I have, thank you. While I understand they are all natural and healthy, I just don't think you can really change the size of my manhood. I am just forced to live with what I have, knowing that I never ever have an averaged sized penis and will have to live the rest of my life with my nickname "The Loch Ness monster". Sigh....

Hot dirty videos - If I ever need to open 37 windows, one after another, with a single mouse click, I'll be sure to add your link to my bookmarks. And I really do believe you when you say it's just a free trial and I have 3 days to cancel before my credit card is charged, discretely of course.

OEM Software - (see "Prescriptions")

Weight Loss - Didn't I just get the same worded email from you the other day, only this time you replaced the word "Viagra" with the word "Meridia"?