Tuesday, January 27, 2009

YouTube-sday™:Wake up!

This must have taken hours/days/weeks.... and it's well worth the watch:

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Welcome 44

We've been waiting far too long...

Friday, January 16, 2009

This is some kind of joke, right?

Rove actually Twits. He said so himself on his website. So this is a for real thing. Just what kind of emails does he really think he will receive?

So here's what I sent:

subject: Thanks for nothing

Thanks for the lies. Thanks for the partisan politics. Thanks for the debt. Thanks for politicizing every damn thing you ever touched. Thanks for being the worst president we have ever have.

Now go to hell and I never want to hear from you again.

Too strong?

Don't let the door hit you in the.....

So President Embarrassment gave his farewell speech last night. I was unable to watch (and probably would have thrown stuff at my tv if I did anyway). I plan on trying to stomach the thing, just to get a good, if not furious, laugh over his claims of how he was not the worst commander in chief ever. Hearing a little talk about his appearance and some of the crap he said on the radio this morning, one thing jumped at me:

"America has gone more than seven years without another terrorist attack on our soil."

Yeah, okay a-hole. Make such a claim as that like you are some great and wonderful all-savior to this country that you have so incorrigibly destroyed for the benefit of your neocon cronies. Hey President Dipsh*t - math lesson time: 9/11 killed about 3000 people; 3000 people you could have kept alive. Your trumped up war in Iraq, which allow me to remind you has ZERO connection to 9/11, as well as zero WMDs and the like, has claimed the lives of 4224 soldiers. That's over 40% MORE people than died on your watch in the Twin Towers. So semantically speaking - yes, there has not been another attack on US soil.

But in actuality, there has. It happened in the Persian Gulf area. And yet again, it's your fault.

A quick search of your speech shows you mentioned Bin Laden exactly 0 times. Zero. 9/11 is universally blamed on him and his warped religious views. Your whole reason for invading Iraq is based on him. But he's really not a concern of yours, is he?

I hate you George W. Bush. Go the #%$& away.

Monday, January 12, 2009

A little bit about this and th@

Being the tech dork/nerd/loser/dude I am, I have a few email addresses. As in a bunch. Too many, probably. If we count them up, I have a work address, a junk mail address, a personal Gmail, a family Gmail, a professional Gmail, a Yahoo address for fantasy sports and my home address (which I never use). So you can imagine the amount of junk mail I receive. The filters are pretty good, but here's what I hope to start seeing less and less of:

Replica watches - Yeah, I am sure it's just like the real watch that costs 1000% more than what you are trying to pawn off on me. Quality movement and fancy design....but of course. And why would I think the real quality of this falls somewhere between a dollar store circular saw and a submarine constructed from rice paper and bubble gum?

Hot stock tips - Don't we all know an up and coming company is best advertised through a poorly spelled "press release"? Who am I to think that this company, currently trading at 2 cents, won't be trading at $1.75 in the near future? For certain this is the company that will buck the present economic trend of suckitude.

Prescriptions - Please, I need my Viagra/Levitra/Propecia/Cialis from some company with about 15 numbers in it's URL. It's all about quality with them.

"That certain area" - I'm happy with what I have, thank you. While I understand they are all natural and healthy, I just don't think you can really change the size of my manhood. I am just forced to live with what I have, knowing that I never ever have an averaged sized penis and will have to live the rest of my life with my nickname "The Loch Ness monster". Sigh....

Hot dirty videos - If I ever need to open 37 windows, one after another, with a single mouse click, I'll be sure to add your link to my bookmarks. And I really do believe you when you say it's just a free trial and I have 3 days to cancel before my credit card is charged, discretely of course.

OEM Software - (see "Prescriptions")

Weight Loss - Didn't I just get the same worded email from you the other day, only this time you replaced the word "Viagra" with the word "Meridia"?

Friday, January 9, 2009

If only for the humor of it all.

So, let's do this whole 2009 resolution thing. But first, let us go back to the start of 2008 and reassess what I pledged to change in 2008 and check my progress. And for sake of the fact that I don't feel like getting TOO detailed, let us do it quickly, shall we:

1) less bills/more savings - fail
2) lose weight - epic fail
3) more emotions - neutral
4) more spirituality - .002% positive of center

So all in all, pretty crappy. And I would come up with a great excuse, but all I can think of right now is that the dog ate my homework and the check is in the mail. I don't think you are buying that. So put me in the group with others that were unsuccessful in changing their life in 2008. It happened. Let's blame George W Bush.

So, how does 2009 look for me? Well, let our get all resolutely and see what I have in mind.

1) Lose weight - I'm still gonna push that one. But I do have a plan this year, far far better than last year's...er....."lack of plan" that I had. I have a friend John that just completed P90X and was very successful (hit that link and check out his results). I have looked at P90X for a while and am glad to personally know someone that used it with great success. Now, John has about 15 years of youth on me and is an Air Force veteran. The only bird I've ever flown was my middle finger. Again, I blame Bush for that too. But John got me a good deal on Power 90, a less extreme workout from the same people and that is my plan. Just need the motivation...

2) Bills - I think I really should call this budget. Hang on.....

2) Bills Budget -That's better. It's time I get a working budget and stick firm to it. It's important to the life of my family during this economic times of crapola. And to be better prepared when unplanned expenses arrive (can you say "daily"). I have many friends very successful with budgets, and I have done about 70% effort to get one for us. It's obvious that is far below the needed 100% (carry the 6.....divide by.... - yes, far below). I think motivation for this will be easier. It just depends if staying on it will be easy.

3) The house (aka "honey do") - More than "honey do's", these are just "put offs" that should no longer be in that state. I have been successful in the past putting a list on the fridge and slowly working thru it. I think if I treat the home improvements as a budget, I should have success.

4) Snarky - Yeah, I said "snarky". My goal in 2009 is to be far more snarky, humorous and sarcastic on this blog. If you see the blog roll on the side, I visit a few. There are more I visit, and franky, some of them are just far too funny. It pisses me off. I should have thought of this or that idea, but I didn't. So it's time for me to stop holding back here and just let rip whatever I feel. All in the form, or course, of making you laugh. Or not.

I think I will stop there. I may have gone too much last year and should scale back to be sure I have a better than say 27% success. Ya hear me George Bush??

Now playing: "Heart Of Glass" by The Puppini Sisters

Thursday, January 8, 2009

YouTube-sday™: Special Report

And it's official:

Upside-down....boy, ya turn me.....

So according to this article, Disney is closing Space Mountain temporarily to do a little remodeling. They state the changes are more cosmetic with very few track modifications. All I know is they better not change how it looks when sitting in a car.

Living where I live, I go to Great America at least once a year and have been on every coaster that ever existed in that place (I highly recommend the American Eagle backwards, if you get the chance) over the past 20+ years. Not to mention King's Island, Six Flags over Mid America, Busch Gardens and other amusement meccas. No front seat of any coaster I have been on compares to the thrill of any seat on a train speeding thru Space Mountain. The joy of Space Mountain is the fluorescent dots on the track and walls. Because of those, you can't see jack squat where the track goes, and that, my friends, is called crazy awesome! You have all the different turns, hills, side shakes and all - but if you can't SEE when they are going to occur, it's that much more scary/exciting.

So I will withhold my gratitude to you all, the heirs of Disney, until I once again ride the Mountain of Space and experience the changes for myself. Screw it up, though, and I'll never watch Hannah Montana again.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

YouTube-sday™: Annie, get your gun (with bonus rant)

Up front, let me say welcome 2009. I'll have the obligatory "how-did-I-do-in-2008 / these-are-my-2009-resolutions" post in a few days (I hope). Until then, let me grab my soapbox.

Ok - so I swing over to Jewel for a little lunchage (chicken strips and tater babies), and as I leave, there is a sign posted on the EXIT door:

"Due to high winds, please return carts to the corral."

Ya know - I got a better idea. How about no matter what the wind is, you return the cart to the corral? Ok, Magellan? Geez - are we getting lackadaisical or what? How often do you see carts all over the parking lot - blocking parking spaces, sitting up on the curb by the trees or filling up the zebra lane by the handicapped spots? Is it that hard to walk it over to the collection spot for the cart worker? You just spent an hour in the store walking all the aisles and you can't return your cart to the designated coordinates?

I have a question for you: how can you afford to purchase the items you just bought at the store? Cuz it's obvious you are too fricking lazy to walk the extra few feet to drop off the cart. I really wonder just what you purchased that you fail to have the energy to do the right thing. What's your diet - Ho Ho's and Swanson Hungry Man dinners? My favorite are the carts just one parking space away from the corral. Couldn't put in the extra 7 feet of effort, eh Pavarotti?

I have made it a habit in the past year or so to find those carts that take up a parking space, or ar just not where they should be, and bring them into the store. On occasion, I will use it to shop, but usually I just walk it into the doors and drop it with the other carts. A little bonus to the kid stuck with the crappy job of hunting down all the carts. You're welcome, Skippy.

And now onto YouTube - Demitri Martin....he gets it:

Now playing: "Message Of Love" by The Pretenders
via FoxyTunes